7 Ways to Manage Screen Time

Hey there! Are you feeling like you're surviving, thriving or failing during this pandemic? I'll admit, there have been plenty of ups and downs in this household. Some days I can feel any of the three aforementioned adjectives! If you're like most families out there, you're fighting another pandemic; the screen time pandemic. It spreads like wildfire and the symptoms are including but not limited to...

-complaining

-irritability

-distractibility

-lack of sleep

-loss of appetite

-lack of motivation for other things

...the list goes on! Can you add to it? Obviously, this is my own made up list and there is no such thing as a "screen-time pandemic." But the side effects truly are real.

So what's a frustrated, overwhelmed, at your wits-end parent to do? I've identified 7 ways to combat this. All of these strategies have been tested on my own children and though my husband and I have slipped up here and there, they do work as long as you are willing to be consistent and follow through. Also, before we dive in, let me say that I realize that since we've all been staying at home, our expectations of screen time mostly likely have been lowered. We allow our kiddos more time to save our sanity, get work done, or to have a minute (or two!) to ourselves. I get it! However, I know that the more I allow, the harder it will be to "undo" what we have allowed and I don't want to have go through that with them.

1. Have a family meeting (preferably first with spouse or partner) to discuss these expectations. Prep your kids by giving them heads up about it. Providing food along with this discussion goes a long way!

2. Set time limits. Thankfully, you can do this now on devices under parental controls. If your child's device is one of your old ones and does not have this option, here are a list of apps that will help. You can also set a timer. If your child is old enough, have him/her set his/her own timer. This allows your child to be responsible and sends a message of trust to your child. Our 7 year old sets a timer on his activity tracker. We also set a timer ourselves just so there isn't any question.

3. Have device-free spaces. These include the most important spaces of the house where family gathers and sleep happens.

4. Make it visual. Whatever your plan, write it down and have your kids either sign it or agree to it.  You can do this by having a contract or a chart.

5. Have a "park it" spot. As soon as the device time is up, be sure your child brings the device (hand-helds, of course) to the location you set. The location could be in the kitchen, your bedroom, any spot where you can see it and have control over it.

6. Be consistent. I'll be honest, this is very difficult! We have slipped up many times which is why we have had to sit down to have many more family meetings to re-institute our expectations. We must hold ourselves accountable to what we have in place or our children won't respect us and they will continue breaking the rules. This will leave all of us frustrated and the fighting will continue!

7. Set consequences (discussed in the family meeting and/or on the visual you decide on) and follow through! This is another one of those very difficult things for parents to do. We feel bad or don't want to face our child's emotions (meltdowns, anger, possibly even aggressive behavior). However, if we calmly review our expectations that we discussed, state the consequence and leave it at that, there isn't much to argue about. I will also say that with our own kids, once they have experienced the consequences a few times, they began adhere to the expectations more consistently because they were motivated to keep their screen time.

And there you have it. My family has gone through this more than once. Many times I felt like just giving up. This is hard, one of the hardest challenges we fight as parents. Let's face it, we do bring this on ourselves. We are the ones who have allowed our children to have these devices. So it's up to us to teach them how to use it. But you can do this! You have what it takes to help your child learn ways to manage screen time.

Until next time, let's Parent with Purpose!